Thursday, July 7, 2011

Please allow me to introduce myself...

So, since I haven't been around much, I thought this might be a good time to (re)introduce myself.

First, a recent photo:
I think it's really quite a good likeness.  Sigh...been a long streak of stepping in it...sticking my foot in my mouth.....and eating humble pie. 
                            Refrain from anger and turn from wrath;
                                   do not fret—it leads only to evil.

                                         Psalm 37:8

Or, then there's the face my kids see a bit too often....
Yeah, about that temper thing.  Have yet to turn them bodily into stone, but what of their hearts?  I tell them often that they can't use this or that circumstance as excuse for bad behavior, or bad attitudes.  But too often, they feel the effect of my too tired, frayed nerves and bear the brunt of my bad attitude.  And I guess you could say that with life as it is at the moment that we have every right to be tired and a bit worn around the edges....but do we?  Yep, we're human and thus susceptible to difficulties of this life but we are also given some pretty non-negotiable instructions in Paul's letter to the Thessalonians:
                                             16 Rejoice always,
                                                     17 pray continually,
                                                                   18 give thanks in all circumstances; for this
                                                  is God’s will for you
                                                       in Christ Jesus.
                                                          1 Thessalonians 5:16-18
And then, there's my deployment fitness regime which has yielded really impressive results.

Yep, that's right - I've been following the Body by Grimace program.  This consists of three pregnancies, two C-sections, and a grueling daily ritual that includes nightly snacking and a lot of time sitting on your rear-side watching movies and feeling sorry for yourself.  It's been hell, but I'm trying to persevere.  In truth, since Big Sarge is getting skinnier on the the Deployment Diet, I've decided to gain all the weight he's lost in the most unattractive way possible so that, when he's finally home for good, he'll feel really good about himself in contrast. 

Seriously, I wonder when we will actually begin to really see our eating (over-eating, under-eating, junk-eating, obsessively-only-organic-everything-eating, etc.) as a spiritual issue.  Because whichever way the wind blows us, it all comes down to pride, idolatry and materialism.....just like everything else that we trip over.  Food ought to be a gift, a blessing and thing to be thankful for....but I'm not sure I know a single person who really sees it that way.
                                 20 Do not join those who drink too much wine
                                          or gorge themselves on meat,
                                                                                 21 for drunkards and gluttons
                                                          become poor,
                                                               and drowsiness clothes them
                                                                    in rags. 
                                                                      Proverbs 23:20-21

Add it all together, and this is what you get:

This, for those of you who don't know, is an eggbeater.  I'm pretty sure that this device is being cranked at an amazing rate of speed somewhere behind my bellybutton 24 hours a day.  I'm still making to the end of each day, but barely.  I'm still feeding all three children, but we've been eating a lot of popcorn.  Everyone is still dressed, but more often than not, they're dressing out of the dryer.  I'm still sleeping, but not deeply and not long.  And I could easily point the finger at my current nemesis: 

But, that's not the real root of the issue and we all know it.  The root of the real issue is self-pity - pride's evil twin brother.  The reason that the abundant life that the Lord designed and desires of us is so often out of reach is because we don't really want it.  We're far too busy looking for the next sap to dry our tears and kiss our boo-boos that we become those things that seek to drag us down. 

Yes, it's a hardship to be alone - or whatever your circumstance is.  Yes, we were warned by Christ Himself to expect trouble - and we get it.  And yes, there are terrible, tragic, grieving things that overtake us on this journey.  But in the midst of these things, are we truly, truly seeing to worship and glorify God, or too often are we seeking after pity, desiring to be glorified for our handling of this or that, secretly enjoying our role as victim? 

 And yes, it's a process - we grieve in stages, we move through the process of accepting our lot, we grow and stretch and change in our circumstances.....but all this assumes some kind of forward motion.  I don't know about you, but I spend a lot of time in neutral - just blindly moving from one assigned place and time to another. 

Abundant life is about seeking God, seeking maturity, seeking surrender, seeking, seeking, seeking. 

But I fear that we are often too busy wallowing to be doing Gods' work in this world.

So, now that we've been (re) still wanna be friends??????


  1. Wonderful post, your post hits close to home. I think we all have day's were we let self pity sneak into our lives.I wanted to thank you for the verses that you posted they are great ones to memorize and put into practice! Hang in there!

  2. WOW! right now I'm wondering how you were able to know just how I'm feeling. Just wanted to let you know that I'm praying for you. I know just how you feel. We know how to eat, how to treat our bodies but yet we don't. It is a battle and when we have stressful situtations enter our lives eating seems to be the fasted and easiest (though temporary) comfort. Hang in there God is in control and His plan is in our best interest even though we don't always (or usually) understand what He's up to.